Tragedy. An inevitable part of life. Something that we speak of and recognize exists, but never imagine it will happen to us. The devastating school shooting that transpired yesterday in Florida left me literally speechless. I watched the news on it throughout the day, but every time, I found it to be too much to watch; too heavy. I turned it off. My husband came home and recognized something was wrong, but I wasn't ready to talk about it. The blame. The horrific loss. The possibility. The talk of gun control. The talk of the need for mental health to be further addressed. More policies. UGH! I had to put it out of my head & heart or I would not be able to function in my day. (Fact about me: I vent on my computer-lol! It is not unusual for Luke to find a word document with a bunch of my jibberish from the day in it b/c I sometimes have to get all that is in my heart/head out. A sense of releasing it, you know?)
One of the useful yet equally difficult traits that I have recognized over the years in myself, as have others, is that I am a deep empath. I can truly feel another persons hurt and allow myself to take a walk in their shoes so to speak. It is a heavy gift. It brings responsibility. I often put thoughts and feelings out of my mind in order to avoid an emotional breakdown (literally!). Which is exactly the point I came to yesterday. The spectrum of emotion that I was wading through and what I saw flash before my eyes was horrific. The parents, the teachers, the families of the deceased. The murderer. Yep, you heard me right! I saw the man who singlehandedly caused so many pain & I was able to look past his actions and truly SEE him. What he must have endured in his life to have to resort to this. Who was his offender? The pain and anger he must have. The sins against him. It is so much to take in & consider.
As always, The Father had a plan for allowing me to experience these gut-wrenching emotions to the depth that I did. He gave me this gift of empathy to be used for His good. To intercede in prayer for the victims & those affected. He allows me to feel things so that there might be fruit that comes of it. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (NASB). As the day ended and I lay in bed, it dawned on me. We can have all the right resources to prevent this & we are still going to fail. Hurt & tragedy is inevitable. But you know what else is inevitable? His grace. His mercy. His unconditional love. It covers a multitude of sins. Our world is flawed and we can do everything in our power to prevent this going forward. (I understand that practically, there are ways to do so & that is important to address.) BUT if we don't come to a realization of the sovereignty of our Father, we will spend our lives trying to prevent sin in the natural, when the battle is to be won in the spiritual. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (NIV).
I kept asking The Father, "What can I take away from this, what can I do/learn from this?" He so graciously answered, "Pray!" "Pray with the authority I have given you & declare what you see in the spirit rather than the reality that is easy to default to." Pray, people! Instead of getting caught up in the technicalities and details, look into and sew your thoughts into the spirit.
Another thought I had-why did this have to be on Valentines Day? Why would someone decide to do an act of such hatred on a day that represents & celebrates love? Because love changes everything. Why wouldn't the forces of evil attack the one thing that has power to shift so much? What a weapon love is-it can heal wounds, it can speak more than words, it can change an environment, it can revolutionize a world's state. If we really grabbed ahold of love & how it changes everything with the help of our Father, only then can we start to make some change. How about we pray for the fathers of this world to step up to the plate? To pursue their children & to love their wives? Or for the mothers? To lay down their desires & prioritize their husbands & families? The very definition of selflessness is to concern yourself more with the needs of others than your own. Now that is powerful, people! That can change things. (I understand this statement may offend some, but I am willing to take the risk in saying it-the gospel can be offensive. Also, if you took the time to know me, to REALLY know me, you would know that what I say is in love & meant well.) If you want to talk to me about it, please do.
So what can we do with this? We can't control what happens going forward. We can't change what happened. BUT, we can pray. We can love. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 says, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing" (ESV). Bottom line, lets get our love on!
With lots & lots of love,
Shelli
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