"Enjoy the little things, it goes so fast." A small, seemingly harmless sentence that had been an ongoing inside joke between my husband and I. It started as a conversation about "those people" who continue to verse said sentence to us over and over again whenever we are having a rough day or annoyed with our kids (we all know one of those well-meaning people). We rolled our eyes as they fling those words off of their tongue with such certainty and wisdom. Luke and I both have had a hard time when it is repeated to us. Reflecting on it, I am not sure that it was and is the "know-it-all-y" attitude behind it that was bothersome. Maybe it was the fact that they were so certain about it. That they felt like they had answers. And we are treading through such uncertain times with our parenting and "winging" it most days as we crawl to Jesus and cling to His promises when things look grim. Maybe it was the fact that there was a third person standing between us as it was spoken named "my pride". Maybe it was because we too easily loose sight of the gift that our kids are when we are treading deep water. And to be honest, Luke and I had sunk into this pattern of using that phrase as a means to complain. We would be going about our day and something really crappy would happen and we would sarcastically say the phrase to follow it. For example: "Rowan just had a blow-out in his diaper. But enjoy the little things, it goes so fast!" I know, its pretty funny, right? So it seems. And we thought so too. But kids listen. And they hear what we are saying-even when we don't say it directly.
Some of you have probably noticed my absence on here the last couple months. I have been navigating through some tricky parenting stuff. To be honest, it has left me 100% drained. You know I am drained if I don't even have time to write. And it hasn't even been the time factor, it is also the emotional and mental energy that I put out to deliver a quality blog post. I enjoy writing but I also don't like to just throw out a bunch of nonsense. All that to say, I feel like I have been in this "bubble" the last couple months where Jesus has been using the difficulties that I (and we) are facing to change my perspective on parenting. Thanks to many meltdown's on my part, a very wise friend, and Godly elders around us, we are beginning to change our verbiage and approach to dealing with our kiddos. They are not a burden. They are a privilege. They are not a problem. They are a solution. They are not work. They are a tool used to do a work in and through us as parents. They are not why we cannot do fun things. They are the fun! (You get the picture.) Now, I know this might not be the most popular blog post, especially to recovering cynics such as myself. I am typically that mom who bonds with other moms over the annoyances and negativity surrounding the everyday life of a parent. It became a problem. So I have been in a "detox" so to speak on how to speak of my kids. It has been oh-so-life-giving! Can I just say that I feel the most at peace with where we are at in our parenting? And can I also say that it goes hand in hand with me saying that I am also having the hardest time as a parent that I ever have. Just not feeling adequate to deal with all that is thrown at me amidst the 3 kids. Not feeling qualified. Questioning if I have what it takes to get the job done. (I didn't title this "Keeping It Real" for nothing.) Feeling suffocated by "issues".
I was driving the other day after I had dropped off my kids at school and the movie "War Room" (a Christian film that is "B" rated at best, but sooo good nevertheless) popped into my thoughts. It is a movie about the importance of a prayer life and all that comes at you-to take to your prayer closet. This was in the middle of my mess of a morning. Tears that were pushed to the side up until that point amidst ironing and teeth brushing had started rolling down my cheeks the moment the kids were out of the car and walking into school. A release of all I was feeling. And then that. I knew I was being spoken to by The Lord. He was reminding me of all that I was trying to carry that I wasn't designed to hold onto. Everything that was happening that is apart of His design to keep me coming back. Time and again. To keep my reliance on Him & His plan in all of this. It was a turning point for me. I have never prayed more over my kids in their entire lives then I have in the last 2 months. And can i just say that it shows?! I can say that, right!? IT SHOWS! No, they are not perfect. No, I don't say all the right things or have it all figured out. But the moment I decided to relinquish control, was ultimately the moment that I also gained it. Because I know it is out of my hands. And it is in my Father's hands. THE Father's hands.
So, my friends. Are you weary? Is there something that seems to be a big problem and it feels as though there is no answer? Are your words normally filled with a negative undertone? I would encourage you to take it to your "War Room", reflect and fight! Fight for it where you have the biggest weapon of all; and that is JESUS! Give The Holy Spirit permission to give you new words and a new way of thinking. If you ever need prayer or encouragement, please reach out! From one "wingin it parent" to another-lets "wing it" together and support each other. Love ya'll!
Love you friends,
Shelli
XXOO
(Left to right:) Rowan, Leeland & Emeline
